What My Sister Taught Me

Carole and I sitting at our construction site July 2019

Three years and two months ago my identical twin sister was diagnosed with stage 3 Ovarian cancer. At that time, we were living in Pound Ridge in a large (at least to us) house my husband and I designed 22 years previously.

Carole spent a lot of time with us there during her marriage and after her spouse died which coincidentally occurred around the time of her diagnosis.

We knew that the prognosis for stage 3 is about 3 years. Carole had often pointed out that we were living in too big a house with too big a mortgage and too much money spent on operating costs. As my previous blogs mentioned the house was very inefficient in its use of energy.

Carole sold her weekend home in Bernardsville, New Jersey, and urged us to sell our house and buy or build something smaller, the intent being that we would live surrounding towns of Bedford and Stamford, Connecticut. As luck would have it we found a beautiful 3 acre parcel in Stamford surrounded by 300 acres of preserve, the Altshul Preserve. Two adjacent parcels had sold ten years ago and already had beautiful, large, houses built. For whatever reason, the parcel we fell in love with had never sold. To us it was the most beautiful of the three as it had the most privacy with uninterrupted views of forest, Altshul Pond, and zig zagged stone walls.

Unlike me, my sister had been very savvy when it came to finances and had the resources to help us financially. We were able to buy the parcel with cash.

We came up with a concept that would provide just enough space for the four of us (my son included) to live each with a private area – a bedroom - and a shared area of living/dining/kitchen. Our open plan layout has doors for the bedrooms only; the living areas are open and easily accessible.

I have mentioned in my other blogs that the house is designed as a passive house and will provide superior air with minimal air contaminants by eliminating carbon producing items like a fireplace and gas cooking appliances. The house is designed to be accessible in a wheelchair:

It is on one level, baths only and the public zones of the house, kitchen, dining and living, are open to one another.
The house has a 5 foot turning radiuses provided throughout the entire design.

Sadly, Carole died in November, 3 years and 2 months after her diagnosis. It is devastating that she won’t be able to live with us in the home we designed. I will always be grateful for her generous financial help and for inspiring us to live a simpler life. And she will be with me always.